3 for 3!
This was good. Tender, juicy, not overly spiced, and EASY! My dad came over to help me eat it and he raved about it. Granted a typical meal for him is a TV dinner or a can of soup, so take it for what it's worth...
You can find the recipe here.
Overheard by the fly on the wall during the Penn State/Ohio State football game last night.
Me: What are all those stickers about on their (Ohio state) helmets?
Dad: Oh just different awards, like maybe they get one for every so many tackles...
Me: I think it looks stupid. Some players have a helmet full, some don't have any...
Dad: Well it's kind of like all those awards and ribbons hanging all over a military uniform.
*Cue crickets*
Me: Um, no dad, that's not the same.
My dad asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner tomorrow night for mine and Stryker's anniversary. Sweet, although a little strange.
Well, yesterday was my dad's first day sober. He said that he's in the right mindset and he feels good about it. I'm trying not to get too excited. I have been let down far too many times. I have no doubts his heart is in the right place. But being the heavy drinker he is, I can only imagine withdrawal symptoms are not far behind and he's going to find it much harder than just saying "ok, I quit! Yay me!" He doesn't sound like he wants to attend any meetings, and I just think he's at the point that he can't do it alone. We'll see what happens.
Well, he called. He's still hasn't been to a meeting (but he thinks about it all the time), he's still drinking (but he thinks about that all the time too). Does he think that "thinking" about it is enough? It was hard but I told him that until he has starting going to meetings and is sober for a week that I didn't want him to call or come over. Then, as a true testament to how weak he thought I was, he goes "wow". Apparently he didn't think I was going to follow through.
D: So you want to cut me off?
me: No, I don't want to cut you off, I want you to get help, we all do, I love you
D: I know you do.....do you really think cutting me off is the right answer?
me: I want you to know I'm serious, and I am. I don't want to give you the impression that I
think your behavior is ok, because it's not
D: so you think it's that serious?
me: yes I do
D: so total sobriety is what you're going for?
me: yep
D: Well I don't think that cutting me off is the right way to go about it but you gotta do what you gotta do
*crickets*
D: well, thanks for your love and concern
me: you're welcome
D: have a good night
me: bye
Fast forward one and a half hours...phone rings, it's dad, didn't answer, he leaves a message
D: (clearly had been drinking) don't give up on me, if you'll go to a meeting with me I'd greatly appreciate it
He also called my sister about going to a meeting with him and made some comment about "when it gets to that point, I'll let you know" like he's just checking to see if we'll go with him but he's not going yet. She said "c'mon, let's just go, you don't have to say anything if you don't want, it's not a big deal, let's just go" Apparently he's checking to paper to see when there's a meeting. I'm calling him back tomorrow before he's been drinking again to see if the meeting just sounded like a good idea when he was drunk or if he's serious. If he's serious I'll be making my first appearance at AA.
This past Tuesday, my sister and I had a mini-intervention for our dad. He is an alcoholic. He has been for so long that I don't even remember when it started. I have some great memories of my dad. He was my little league softball coach. We played catch in the backyard almost daily in the summer. I also have some memories that I wish would disappear.
The actual "intervention" went pretty well. We did it because we love him, we care about him, and we are worried about him. Obviously he tried to change the subject, blame his drinking on other things, talk about the past, etc. He also was very emotional, and it was obvious that he recognizes that he has a problem. This was encouraging. However, he would not agree to do anything about it other than go to the doctor for a physical. He hasn't had one in years and I thought that would be at least a start. Get him into a doctor, see how everything is ticking, maybe the doctor can give him suggestions, make some referrals. We made it clear that we are there for him if he wants us to go along to meetings, or for anything else he might need. I also made it clear that if he doesn't choose to get help, he will no longer be a part of mine, my husbands, or Fuzz's lives.
Sadly, this doesn't seem to have impacted him like I thought it would. It was only after I told him that that he agreed to go to the doctor for a physical. He is still drinking heavily, going out to bars, driving home. I hate it.
I just talked to him tonight and he still isn't willing to go to a meeting or see a counselor to get to the root of the problem. I am done calling him. Next time he calls me, I will ask him if he's been to a meeting, if he's drank recently. If he hasn't been to a meeting and if he's still drinking, I'm telling him not to call until he's been to a meeting and has been sober for a week. I refuse to let my daughter grow up around that. His behaviors are not ok, and I will not allow him to believe that I think they are by remaining in his life.
His drinking has been a problem for a long time, I finally feel like I'm doing something about it. He chooses his consequences, but I am not letting it be the unspoken "secret" anymore. I wish My Love was here...
