Distance. It's a slippery slope, and one I'd rather be on top of.
These past few days, I have noticed that Stryker has been distant. And not in that obvious, "Well yeah, you're living 6500 miles apart" way either.
I know he has a lot going on right now, and maybe it's a guy thing, but I just don't get why it's so hard to TALK TO ME! I am your wife, I am here for you, please talk to me before it's too late.
I think it's easy to distance ourselves from each other when we live so far apart, and such different lives, and it's a scary, slippery slope. Before long, you don't talk about anything anymore, and by the time he gets back you don't even remember who he was, and who you were as a couple. I'm not willing to let that happen to us, so I try to get to the bottom of this stuff before anything serious or permanent happens.
I'm not one of those wives that applies the "don't fight", "don't tell them what's going on at home", logic. Stupid, insignificant things, yes, of course I'm not going to make a huge deal about, because it's true. He does need to focus, and I'm not going to make him worry about me being bratty back here. But big, potentially life altering things, which I consider this distancing to be, you can bet I'll be calling him on it.
I already feel like our life as a family takes a backseat to his life as a soldier, and there's no way I'm letting Little Miss Army sneak in and steal our whole future as well.
It helps that we talk about these things without attacking, and in a calm manner. We talk about it, we try and figure it out, and it usually gets better. He doesn't dwell on it, I don't dwell on it, and our relationship is all the better for bringing it up and getting it out of the way.
Thankfully we're crawling our way back to the top of the slope.
Distance. It's a slippery slope, and one I'd rather be on top of.
We will be traveling on Halloween for the wedding, so we have already been around doing the family trick-or-treating thing.
Yes, I made her costume (note the proud smile in the first picture).
No, she won't smile while wearing it, she's totally playing the part.
Yes, she "ah ah"'s like a monkey instead of growling like a lion....
Overheard by the fly on the wall during the Penn State/Ohio State football game last night.
Me: What are all those stickers about on their (Ohio state) helmets?
Dad: Oh just different awards, like maybe they get one for every so many tackles...
Me: I think it looks stupid. Some players have a helmet full, some don't have any...
Dad: Well it's kind of like all those awards and ribbons hanging all over a military uniform.
Me: Um, no dad, that's not the same.
Comparing stickers on a football helmet for tackles to military awards, many earned through blood, sweat, and tears? Not even close, not even close.
Thanks Katie! Not only does she heart my blog, but her and her mom support our troops by sending amazing goody boxes!
Now, the way this works, is I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers:
1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Where is your significant other? Iraq
3. Your hair color? Brown
4. Your mother? funny
5. Your father? mailman
6. Your favorite thing? books
7. Your dream last night? non-existent
8. Your dream/goal? photographer
9. The room you're in? dining
10. Your hobby? sewing
11. Your fear? widowhood
12. Where do you want to be in six years? settled
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? hungry
15. One of your wish list items? husband
16. Where you grew up? Wisconsin
17. The last thing you did? played
18. What are you wearing? PJs
19. Your T.V.? on
20. Your pet? none
21. Your computer? vital
22. Your mood? mellow
23. Missing someone? definitely
24. Your car? Jetta
25. Something you're not wearing? make-up
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your Summer? anticipated
28. Love someone? much
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? movie
Have fun ladies! I'm being a rebel and only tagging three.
Loquita at Loquita's blog
D.A.R. at the student and the soldier
Sara at When in Rome
After reading her latest "Deployment Week in Review", I've decided Kristen deserves this:
Sounds like you are taking great care of your soldier even though you are completely busy!
Happy Birthday to my wonderful, amazing, handsome, silly, goofball of a husband. Poor thing didn't even realize it was his birthday today.
Things are in the works for this to be our last birthday apart, and I'm so thankful for that.
Today, I wish for you a lifetime of happiness, love, and wonderful memories as a family. We love you and miss you!
I don't know about you, but I find that there is a direct relationship between my internal clutter and external clutter. Yet somehow, I have a hard time keeping the external clutter at bay. Tonight, my sink and kitchen counters look like this. There is a reason you only got a picture of the sink. The rest of our house doesn't look quite so spiffy. Maybe tomorrow.
You may remember these that I sent to Stryker.
Well, he received them and they were all broken. He said many just had one "leg" broken off, so it's not like they were powder when they got there, and of course brokenness doesn't inhibit taste! :)
I just wanted to let you ladies know since a bunch of you expressed interest in sending them to your own soldiers.
Stryker left for his first deployment in January 2004.
After he left, occasionally when I drove, I would smell him. His cologne. It was as if he enveloped me. It was the greatest thing, but I couldn't figure it out. It only happened in the car, and not every time I drove.
It was months before I figured out that it was the seat belt. When he was home on leave, he always drove, and apparently some of his cologne rubbed off on the seat belt. It was only after I had been driving for awhile and my body heat warmed the seat belt that it would waft up and make my whole day.
On my drive home from the airport after I dropped Stryker off, I was turning the corner on our street, and that familiar smell wafted up, and I knew everything would be ok.
Thank you guys for your insight on the pretzels, I am sending them today. Stryker must have been having a guy moment. I guess he's entitled, as he is, in fact, a guy. So without further ado, I present to you, drumroll please, the goodies...
Stryker's birthday present came today, so I am going to bake his birthday goodies tonight and get the package in the mail for him tomorrow. Turtle brownies on the menu.
I also decided that it is about time to get the pretzels out to G's wife. A few days ago I was telling Stryker that I was going to make them soon. He asked if I was going to tell her the story behind it and I said yes and he seemed hesitant. I asked what was wrong and basically he's worried it's going to make her sad to think about it. I asked him, "Do you really think that she isn't constantly thinking about him anyway?".
I think that if it was me, the pretzels and story might make me a little sad, but I think they would mean so much. What do you guys think? Am I about to step over a line, or is it just a meaningful gesture?
I love T's idea of making a sexy song cd for her soldier. I'm totally stealing it...with a tweak. His birthday is in a couple weeks and I bought him the new nano and am going to put a surprise playlist on there for him.
Any suggestions for the perfect sexy (not nasty...we're not into that) song?
Answer the following 12 questions about yourself in order to influence your mosaic:
1. First name
2. What is your favorite food? Japanese
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation? Spain
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Financial counselor
10. What do you love most in life? Stryker & Fuzz
11. One word to describe you? dedicated
12. Favorite interest? Travel
Want your own? All you have to do is type your answer to each of the above questions into Flickr's search. Using only the images that appear on the first page, choose your favorite and copy and paste each of the URL’s into the Mosaic Maker (3 columns, 4 rows).
1. First name, 2. Japanese plum, red flower, 3. John Edwards on the cover of Newsweek, 4. Meeting the pregnant princess of the forest, 5. Mark Consuelos, 6. Amazing Circles: Diet Coke Cans, 7. Toledo bajo el sol (HDR), 8. Chocolate Chip Cheesecake with Raspberries, 9. Here are some of the Steps which will helps you to become debt free., 10. Fuzz, 11. Love will come through.., 12. Soft purple
Posted by Carissa at 9:28 PM
October is breast cancer awareness month, and many of you have probably seen special sections in the stores with lots of pink merchandise. I found a new cookie cutter and decided to do this...
They are going in the mail tomorrow.
I have a feeling that tonight's debate is going to be far less cordial than the last one. I'm anxious to watch it. I wish that more people would be informed and vote. It's so important!
Posted by Carissa at 2:53 PM
Wow, my first award! Thanks KD!
With this award you have to:
A. List 6 things you value/support and 6 things you don't.
B. Pass it along.
Things I value:
1. Time with my husband. I think it is something all of us military spouses value.
3. America. The things I read and the stories I hear from Stryker make me so thankful I live in this country.
4. My family and friends. They helped mold me into who I am today.
5. The internet & my bloggy friends. Without it my house would undoubtedly be cleaner, but I would be bored and lonely! I feel more support from you guys than I ever have on the military base.
6. Dinner at a nice restaurant with Stryker. Dress up, eat fabulous food, enjoy a great cocktail...can it really get better than that?
Things I don't:
1. The fact that the cases of Diet Coke went down to 20 cans from 24, and yet you pay the same. When did this happen? (D.A.R., did you know this???)
2. People who feel entitlement about things they shouldn't. Ick.
3. Running. I have asthma, the two don't mix.
4. Scary movies.
5. People who insist on discussing politics and then berate you for voicing your opinion.
6. Manual transmission. Give me the automatic please!
I'm passing it along to Katie, because I love her hilarious stories, and Kristen, because of her great idea reviewing each week of deployment!
My Google reader says I need to catch up on 582 posts. Proof of how involved I was in savoring every moment!
We sent him off this morning. We had an amazing time and savored every moment. I didn't even start to get sad about him leaving until about two days ago, which I consider a success.
His relationship with Fuzz is just out of this world. I couldn't have picked a better father for her.
We got away for a weekend just the two of us in Door County.
It was a much needed break. We were gone for two nights and that's the longest I've ever been away from Fuzz! His being home made me realize just how stressed I actually was from taking care of her and the house by myself day in and day out for ten months. Now it's back to it for at least another four months. But I'm refreshed and ready. Bring it on.