I am Charlie Brown's teacher...

Since this is quickly becoming a cooking/baking blog, and that's very much not what I intended for it to be, here's a funny story from today.

Here's a little background. During Stryker's first deployment from 2004-2005, his dad was his power of attorney (mistake #1), and he asked his to fix up his car using his money (mistake #2). There were many other stupid financial decisions during that deployment, but we'll just focus on these today. So throughout the deployment, his dad was taking money out of his account to "work on the car". But the checks he wrote were never out to any businesses, only to himself as cash. Does this sound shady to anyone else?

The 13 month deployment ended, and lo and behold, the car is not finished, and approximately $7,000 is gone from Stryker's account. Besides that, Stryker is not allowed to see the car, or hear any news about updates to it, because "it's a secret". Wha?? His money, his car.

Here we are, November 22, 2008, and the car still isn't finished. I've asked Stryker repeatedly if there even is a car. His dad is a good-hearted guy, but it's been over four years. Did he sell it and keep the money??

Anywho, where was I? Oh yes, so we're on the phone this morning, and he told me that he had talked to his dad before he called me, and they talked about the status of the car. Stryker proceeds to start complaining about the choices his dad has made so far. *Cue increase in blood pressure*

Kiki: Stryker, I don't even want to hear you complain about it, because if you cared that much about what was done on it, you should have just waited and done it yourself."

Stryker: Whoa. What?

Kiki: *repeats previous rant*

Stryker: Hello?

Kiki: Hello? *realizing he can't hear me*

Stryker: I need to call you back, you sound like a monster or something.

Kiki: Ok. *hangs up phone*

*Telling my sister what Stryker said and both of us laughing like crazy*

Ring ring

Kiki: Hello?

Stryker: Whoa, that was weird, you sounded like 'whaa whraa whaa' *think Charlie Brown's teacher*

Kiki: Well that is kind of what I sounded like...

I mean, could the phone reception going crazy have possibly come at a more perfect time? I think not.

Wanted: Brownie points

Well, my MIL left about an hour ago, and dare I say...it was enjoyable. I'm not sure if she was genuinely nice, being two-faced, or just trying to rack up some extra points before Stryker gets home so I don't hold him hostage (I truly believe she's thinks I'm behind him not wanted to spend every waking moment at their house), but it was a nice visit. She brought me flowers, "because it was a rough week". And she took me out to dinner. I know I said nothing surprises me anymore, but this did!

Updates

Today was *G*'s memorial in Iraq. Sounds like it was pretty emotional, but nicely done and was a good step in providing some closure for the guys. I'm feeling better, thanks for all the well wishes.

On some other fronts, MIL, and dad drama ensue. Surprise! See? You thought everything was going fine with my MIL, didn't you? Well I just haven't been talking to her much...the solution to everything...avoidance.

Here's her latest...

She called me earlier this week and mentioned she wanted to come visit this weekend. Fine. She said she'd call later on in the week and let me know which day, etc. Not sure why when she was thinking about coming she couldn't just pick a day, but whatever. That's her style. So this morning I emailed her asking if she was still planning on coming and what day, because I hadn't heard anything from her. I told her tomorrow worked better for me. Never wrote back. So by 5, 6 o'clock, I figured she just wasn't coming.

Fast forward to 9:20PM. She calls. Yes, that's right, 9:20 tonight. She thinks they will come later in the afternoon, is that ok? Do you have plans? I didn't hesitate to tell her that I figured she wasn't coming because she didn't write back. Oh, she went to my BIL's school to drop some stuff off and then got home and thought, "I better call Kiki!" Crazy woman.

Yes, I'll sit here and clear my weekend schedule on the off chance that you actually decide to come. And then, when you decide you aren't going to, I'll have nothing to do for the weekend. Love it.

I'll save my dad for a different day...it's at least a 2 parter.

Bonkers

**WARNING - ANOTHER MIL RANT**

I have been thinking about all the issues I've had with her lately and I think I've figured a few things out.

She didn't change when I thought she had. It's just that, when I thought she had changed, Stryker had just deployed for his first tour, and I didn't have nearly as much contact with her as I did before Stryker left. Once Stryker was back from his first tour he was back at his duty station, so I still didn't have much contact with her. Then in that summer we got married and I moved to the duty station as well and whenever she called, she talked to him, so I didn't really ever talk to her. Therefore, she didn't change, I just didn't have to deal with her very often.

Unfortunately, now I'm closer, and by myself, and she happens to be crazy about Fuzz, so I have to deal with her...by myself. She makes me want to move far far away again.

On Wednesday, she emailed me again: Can you email me your address I want to make sure I have it correct- I'm afraid I may have it wrong and gave the wrong address to [the rude happy couple] if you have not gotten their invitation yet.

Honest to Pete, this must have been the 7th time I've given her our address. So I wrote her back: Our address is: [some cute duplex with noisy neighbors] but at this point, I don't even want an invite.

Note how I made sure to say "Our" address, lest she forget this is his home too. :) I haven't heard anything back from her since.

And apparently she was whining to Stryker's sister, either about being worried about not seeing him much during R&R or about not being able to go to the airport to pick him up, because SIL was kind of telling me about it while I was there on Sunday. She is smarter and more mature than her mother, because she gets it. When MIL said (whiny voice) "But I miss him!", SIL said "But mom, he needs to spend time with his family."

I love that girl. Every time I see her I am amazed by how mature she is becoming and what a wonderful young woman she is turning into.

So just for safe measure, I sent MIL the link to this site. I'm hoping she finds this piece. It's the first one posted on the "Army parents" section. Hehe, is that evil?

**END OF RANT**

So...make me feel a little better and tell me: What's your worst in-law story?

Remember, he's 25

And, since I'm in a fightin' mood, a little more venting about my lovely mother-in-law.

A little history: When Stryker and I first got together and I was first getting to know her, I did not like her. She was rude to me. She was brass and didn't think before she spoke. I know we all are guilty of that occasionally but believe me, she is extreme. Remember?

When she realized I wasn't going anywhere, she started to get nicer to me. I thought. Looking back, maybe I just got more used to her ways. Living thousands of miles and an ocean away also helped.

Anyway, now that I'm living closer again, I'm realizing that maybe she hasn't changed after all. Proven by this conversation with Stryker in which she pretty much declares that she wishes I was out of the picture.

MIL: Are you, Kiki, and Fuzz staying in a hotel by us the first night you're home [for R&R]?
S: No, I want to spend my first night at home.
MIL: Ugh. When you get home you should be staying here, this is your home. I forget you have a different home now, I don't like that. Ugh.

Gas isn't cheap

Well, my MIL threw another zinger at me. The last two times I have seen them, I did the traveling. It's only about 75 miles, takes me about an hour and 20 minutes to get there, but traveling with Fuzz is usually hit or miss. She either sleeps most of the way or not at all and by about the 45 minute mark decides she's had it with the car. Let's just say by the time we finally make it there, she's so mad her forehead is blotchy from the hysterics. (Yes, I stop if I need too)

Anyway, MIL told me that she was going to come here on Sunday because she needs her Fuzz fix.

I get this email from her yesterday:

Hello,

I know I said I would come and visit on Sunday, but {Stryker's half sister} left us a message that they are leaving on Monday 7/28/08 {moving out of state} so I was wondering if maybe you would be able to come this way and we could have lunch and the boy's could swim and stuff or I thought I would bring {Stryker's half sister} and the boy's with me to visit you and {Fuzz}. I know you have made multiple visits lately
so I don't know how you would feel about doing it again.. They have a Car building store at the mall like Build a Bear I thought maybe we could take them there to build a car.. Let me know what you think!

{MIL}

UGH! It seems like she pulls this all.the.time. There have been many times when she has said that they will come here and then in another conversation finds some way to make it sound like it would be better if I go that way. More people could see Fuzz, etc. etc. The excuses are endless.

Stryker's half sister lives about a mile from them, and the last 2 or 3 times I've been there they have told her I would be there and she makes no effort to come see us. Why should I make an effort to see her? Annoying. But I know that her twin boys would have more fun there than they would here, so here was my reply.

I guess if you'd come here with them if I don't go there, I'll just come that way because I'm sure the boys will have more fun there than they would here. I'm not sure if I'll head out right away in the morning or go to church first. I'll give you a call when I leave so you know when to expect me.

It was all I had to make it that nice.

So she replies saying that she hasn't even talked to Stryker's half sister about it yet, and doesn't even know what their schedule is for Sunday. She was going to talk to her today and then call me and let me know. Still haven't heard from her. I swear, sometimes I don't know what that woman is thinking.

Deployment Leave Dilemmas

I discovered Sara's blog the other day and was reading this, and it struck a chord. I love Stryker's family, but if you've been reading for awhile, you know that they sometimes do things that bother me. Really though, even my own family does things that bother me...who's doesn't?

As we all know from my frequent donut updates that Stryker's R&R is coming up. Thankfully, Stryker is not shy when it comes to telling his family what he wants. He has already told them that it would only be Fuzz and I at the airport picking him up, and because the airport is only a few miles from their home, we would stop over before we headed for home.

The thing is, if he wouldn't have told them that, I can almost guarantee that they would have just assumed they would be at the airport. I don't think they would have asked if they could come, they would have asked what time they should be there.

After reading about Sara's plan, I realized that we hadn't even taken into account what will happen if Stryker doesn't come home during the day. *Must talk to Stryker about that* Thank you Sara for making me think about that.

Another thing that is common is them making plans for him without asking first. I know they love him, but I don't think they understand that Fuzz and I are his priority now. Not only that, but R&R is for Rest and Relaxation, not cramming every day full of activities that he didn't necessarily want to do in the first place.

You're Uninvited

When I was driving home yesterday Stryker's mom called me to see how the weekend went. We were visiting and I asked what they did for the weekend and she told me that they had gone to my brother-in-law's girlfriend's graduation party. They have been dating for about 2 years, so I know her quite well, and I was not invited.

Me: I wasn't even invited to her party.
MIL: That's a good thing. You didn't have to spend any money, and you weren't here anyway.
Me: That's rude that I wasn't invited.
MIL: *laughter* I think that everyone forgets about Stryker's wife and child when he's gone. *laughter* Except for us. *laughter* Except for us.

I got off the phone thinking...did she really say that?? I have thought for awhile know that I seem to be out of the loop while he is gone, and it makes me feel bad. We have been married for 3 years, do you really just forget someone like that? Am I nothing to them when Stryker isn't around?

Either way, I already know people leave me out when Stryker isn't here. I don't need a confirmation from her that I am indeed forgotten.

Does anyone else have this same experience during deployment? How did you deal with it?

Really, I do...

Let me start by saying I get along very well with ML's family and I love them. Really, I do. Today they really made me mad. I know things like this happen, but they were expecting me, it wasn't a surprise, and a courtesy call would have been much appreciated.

I told my MIL I would be there late morning. They live about a hour and a half's drive away, and I like to travel during nap time. Fuzz was sleeping as I got into town (at 11AM..I believe that's late morning), so I called her to ask her if she would let their yippy dog outside so she wouldn't wake Fuzz. No answer. So I called their home phone. No answer. Well she woke up as I opened my door anyway, so that's fine. I take her out, grab all my stuff and go to the door. Locked. So I knock. Dogs go nuts, no one comes to the door. My SIL sleeps late so I'm figuring she is there, just not answering the door. I call her. No answer. I call her again. No answer. I called her 3 or 4 times. No answer. I called my MIL again. Nothing. Called my BIL, nothing! At this point it's like, are you kidding me???? So I call my FIL, I figure he's at work. Didn't have his phone number stored in my phone so I guessed, someone who barely spoke English answered..clearly the wrong number. Tried again, got him. He's mad, tries to get ahold of everyone calls back, neither one of us has heard anything.

At this point I would have loved to have turned around and went home. I was mad, but at this point it's almost noon, Fuzz eats at noon, and I only have frozen homemade baby food and no way to defrost it. So my FIL tells me that he's stuck at work but I can go and pick up his key so I can get in the house if I want. So I go get it, get back to their house, still no one home, still no one has called me. I feed Fuzz, because hungry baby = cranky baby.

I was right, my SIL was there the whole time. My BIL calls at 12:10, they are out getting new cell phones and it took a little longer than they thought it would.

At least it was important, right?