The baby debate

Fuzz would love a little baby in our house. Two of our friends here have little ones and it has been a joy to watch her be a little mommy. Stryker and I both have the itch, but the timing isn't ideal, which ultimately just makes us want another one more I think.

Friday, I had a newborn photo shoot, and let me tell you, I fell in love. I could photograph newborn babies all day long. So innocent, so tiny, so squeaky. I forgot about those little baby squeaks.

During the dreaded first trimester of her pregnancy, Sara and I were talking about how much it sucked and how people say you forget about it. Let me tell you something. I haven't forgotten. One of the sole reasons having another baby right now makes me squirmish is because I just really don't want to be pregnant again. I had a horrible first trimester, and I didn't forget. I told Stryker multiple times during pregnancy, "I'm sorry, I know you want two, but it's not happening."

"Why would anyone have a second child?" I wondered.

I figured it out about the time Fuzz turned two. Stryker had been back for a few months, so all the responsibility of raising her wasn't falling on me anymore. Fuzz was doing and saying new things every day. I was able to sit back and enjoy her, and I was falling deeper in love than I ever thought possible. My daughter is hilarious, sweet, kind, and beautiful. That is why people have second (third, fourth...) babies. They get to that special age and just become so much fun. And then the itch begins. At least that's how it happened for me.

Lord willing we will have another baby. I'm just not sure when.




I have forgotten how much I hated being pregnant. My husband keeps reminding me, but I stil keep getting tat yearning everytime I see a pregnant belly.



It's never 'ideal' timing....
hubby and I have talked about another one ever since the last one was born (he is ten now). But he went to OCS, and then to Iraq, and then we moved, and I was settling in at a new job, and our marriage was less than stable for awhile, and he deployed AGAIN ... that was the biggest thing for me, I was so afraid that as soon as I got pregnant, he would have to deploy again. Last summer we finally decided we were not getting any younger, and we made the decision to go off of birth control in October. 3 months later, I got pregnant (YAY!) the same week that he got orders for Afghanistan (NOT yay). I am struggling with the timing, but the biggest thing I am kicking myself over is this: I wish I hadn't waited so long to have this baby....