Ugly

Although I have tons of other pictures I could post, I figured maybe words would be nice for a change. There have just been so many photographic moments lately that I haven't been able to resist.

Fuzz acts as if Daddy has always been around. I, however, am not so quick to forget what life was like before redeployment. It's very strange. Pre-Fuzz, reintegration was a snap. Post-Fuzz, not so much. It's frustrating to me.

I am completely grateful and blessed that Stryker is finally back home with us. It's wonderful having him here. The house stays cleaner, I'm not drop dead exhausted by the end of the day, Fuzz has a mommy and a daddy to pay attention to her throughout the day, etc. etc. There are so many benefits to having him home.

I spent 15 months wishing he was here. I longed for his touch, I wished that those "Mwa!"s at the end of every conversation were real, I couldn't wait to feel his skin against mine. So how messed up is it that now that it's finally real, those touches and kisses I so longed for sometimes cause irritation?

I'm not used to being touched and kissed so much throughout the day. When he was gone, I had to adapt to not having those things, and now that they are reality again, I need to adapt back. I guess I'm not quite there yet, but it is getting better daily. We talked about it the other night, and since then I haven't been stressing about it so much, and things have been much better.

I love my husband, and it's hard for me to accept that this is normal, even though I know it is. I know we'll get there, I just wish it didn't take so darned long.