Good to be back

Wow, it's been over a month since I've written! We have been very busy with visiting our families, house hunting, moving, and unpacking, but it's also a case of the longer you go without writing, the less you feel like you have to write about. I'm hoping to get back in the habit of it, even when I don't think I have anything to say.

Stryker and I took a couple days to drive down here. We left on the 29th, and only hit a little of this:



It was a pretty nice trip. As nice as an 18 hour road trip can be. On day two we decided to start taking pictures of all the different state license plates we saw. We saw so many! I am going to try and compile them into a collage. We must have gotten close to half. It definitely kept the trip interesting. Quick lane changes to catch a new one, tailgating, yeah...driver of the year! Not to mention what the other people were thinking when they saw a crazy man from Wisconsin trying to take their picture. Quite a few laughs that day.



We spent that night in Atlanta and had the most amazing dinner at Il Mulino. The food was amazing, and the service was even more amazing. Stryker and I like to go out to nice dinners occasionally, and this was a great pick.

Well, I'll leave it at that. It's time to go wake Fuzz up from her nap. Sleeping through the night has taken a hiatus, and we're trying everything we can to remedy that.

Sicky

Yesterday was our anniversary, we were woken up at 4:30AM by a sick Fuzz. Poor little bugger.

Of the four years we've been married, we've only actually been together for about two. And even those two were littered with field training, schools, and other separations. Such is the Army life. I think this was probably our hardest year yet. Here is to hopefully our best year yet!

We leave tomorrow. We're hoping Fuzz is feeling better by then, and that we don't contract it in the meantime.

Whirlwind

Talk about a whirlwind lately! My cousin's visit, my sister's visit, our lease ending on the first and us moving to a hotel until we leave, selling stuff... I have been one busy lady, and it's not going to stop any time soon.

We're getting settled into the hotel just in time to leave again. We'll be spending a week in Stryker's hometown, a week in mine, and then driving down to Georgia and hopefully finding somewhere to live quickly. We're already looking, but it's hard to commit to something without knowing the neighborhood, and more importantly, the smell. I have done enough apartment/house hunting to know that pictures of the place might look great, but nothing is worse than walking in and getting slammed with a smell that makes you believe cats, and only cats, lived there without a litter box for years.

Thankfully, Stryker's mom is going to fly down with Fuzz a few days after we leave. She does well in the car for about 20 minutes on a good day, so we're lucky we don't have to suffer through 15 hours with her. I would probably be bald by the time we got there. I don't do well with ear piercing screeching in small spaces. They don't seem to bother Stryker, which adds to the irritation.

How can that not drive a person to unthinkable acts?

Fender Bender

There was one not so fun moment while my cousin was here. He and Stryker got into a little fender bender. After their shark diving, they were waiting to pull out of a driveway and some lady just ran right into them. It wasn't serious, but she did do damage to our car. Sounds like she was quite the person to deal with.

She was nice at first. They both parked and she got out of her (rental) car and said "Did I just hit you?" Um...no kidding Sherlock. She offered to pay Stryker a whopping $200, when the damage will probably cost more like $1000 to fix. He said no, and then she started getting all crazy. Tried to claim that the damage wasn't caused by her, even though she did in fact hit them. Said they were trying to screw her. Even told my cousin "F*** You", and my favorite "FYI, I hate you". How 5th grade is that?

Anyway, Stryker has been in contact with the rental company, and surprise surprise, she hasn't reported the accident to them yet. The rental company is going to take care of it it sounds like, but this lady was quite a trip!

A new definition

I think the Army was confused when they said PCS stand for "permanent change of station". I think they actually meant it to stand for "pretty crappy situation". PCSing..what a pain!

Poor Stryker. I mean, we're excited to start a new adventure, but are three different transportation appointments really necessary?? We do have a strange situation because we are in Hawaii, but our household goods are in Wisconsin, but it should be that difficult.

During his first appointment, the lady scheduled his unaccompanied baggage pickup (his army stuff that needs to be transported), but told him that he should get in touch with his next duty station to schedule the household goods pickup, because that would be easier. Easier for who? Yeah. Her.

So he called to see if they could schedule it from here or if he really had to call the next duty station. The woman on the phone told him that the lady at his first appointment should have done it and that he should come in to schedule it. So he went in last week and they sent him away because he didn't have yet ANOTHER copy of his orders. Wait, he's there to fix YOUR screw-up! Not to mention the fact that they already have 32ish copies of his orders. So he left, made another copy of his orders and went in there today. He sat in the waiting room for over an hour and they made him ANOTHER appointment to schedule the pickup. Nothing was accomplished today other than making him an appointment.

Really? All because the first lady didn't do her job? Wow.

Wordless Wednesday - A Day at the Beach

*Ok, so I screwed up and posted these a day early. Sue me...

One crumbles, one thrives

Sometimes when I think about the deployment, I wonder how we got through it. Not only did we get through it, but we got through it almost unscathed. 15 months is a long, long, time. Yes, it was hard. Yes, we lost a friend. Yes, we had reintegration issues just like everyone does. But we made it, and we are stronger because of it. We appreciate each other more. I enjoy being a mom more. We cherish our time together more. I could probably go on all day.

So many couples don't make it through one deployment, much less multiple ones. We are close friends with a couple who did not, in fact, make it through this deployment, and it still blows my mind daily. I can't believe they are in the situation they are. I'm certain there is more to the story than what I know...there has to be.

It brings me to the question: What makes one seemingly strong couple crumble while one thrives? Is it faith? Because I'm certain that during some points in the deployment there were only one set of footprints in my neck of the woods. Is it love? Is it personal strength? Is it determination and pure will?

I don't know all the answers, but I think it's a combination of all those things. Here are a few of the things that I think helped us get through our deployments.

#1. Realization and acceptance of the fact that you can't change it. He will deploy. It will be a long time. You can't stop it. Find a way to deal.

#2. Faith. I am a Christian woman. I believe that each of us has a set amount of time on this earth, and that it's predetermined. This was a huge thing in helping me get through this deployment. I believed that if Stryker's time was supposed to be up during the deployment, it would have been up whether he was deployed or not. This prevented me from worrying so much. Of course I still worried, but it wasn't as extreme as the first deployment, and thus, resulted in less stress.

#3. Faith. Faith in our marriage. Faith that despite the length of time apart, our marriage would survive, and we would be ok.

#4. Care packages. I wanted to make sure that Stryker knew I was thinking of him, and loved him, and sending care packages was one of the ways I could best show this. I loved sending care packages because I knew he and the guys enjoyed them, and it also helped me feel closer to him. I knew that I was touching something he would touch.

#5. Being understanding of weirdness. Sometimes while Stryker was deployed, he would go through periods of weirdness. He wouldn't have much to say while we were on the phone, he seemed down, he just was not himself. It's not a cause for panic. They go through ups and downs during the deployment just like we do. It's normal.

#6. Finding something to look forward to. When we started making plans for R&R, conversations were great. We smiled, we laughed, we made plans that involved us actually being together. It was fun.

#7. Living life. I kept on living life. It helped pass the time much more quickly. Yes, sometimes I felt guilty about it, but it was better for Fuzz, Stryker, AND me live life instead or wait for it.

These are just the big ones off the top of my head that helped me, and us, get through deployments. What is something that helps you get through a deployment?

*Here's what I was sending to Stryker one year ago today.

Family runs

My legs are finally on the mend. Yowzers that was rough. Must make sure I don't go that long again before doing lunges. Not a good feeling.

I did manage to go for a couple walk/runs with Stryker and Fuzz last weekend. Definitely loosened the legs up. And can I just tell you how much more fun it is to run with your family than it is to run by yourself on a treadmill or elliptical? The last time I went to the gym I seriously considered visiting a Dr. to see if I had ADD. I'm going on the elliptical, this is my thought process. "Only 2 minutes? This is boring. La dee dah... What? Only 4:25 minutes? I wonder what that paper on the bulletin board says, maybe I should go check it out." You get the picture. It wasn't pretty.

I will admit it. I'm not a runner. I have asthma, and pounding on the pavement doesn't agree with it. But I want to be a runner. Going out for a run, even if it's half run, half walk, with Stryker and Fuzz is fun. It's great family time, and it's great for Fuzz to see us being active. So I'm starting slow, seeing if I can build up some endurance. We'll see.

In other, completely unrelated news, we grilled pizzas on Friday. If you've never done it, you need to try it. Easy, fast, and so yummy!

Wordless Wednesday

I love food

Another great thing about having Stryker home is that I am cooking for more than myself and an occasional guest. It's great. I've been able to try several new recipes, and most of them have been wonderful.

I've been really into making homemade bread lately. I'm not sure why, but I love it! I've tried a couple different recipes for french bread. I've found a really great recipe for pizza dough (seriously, it's d.e.l.e.c.t.a.b.l.e). Homemade cinnamon rolls anyone? Best I've ever made. Even better than the ones out of the can.

My mom gave me an awesome recipe for banana bread with an orange glaze on top. It sounds like a weird combo but it's the best banana bread I've ever had, and I already had a great banana bread recipe. I've also tried an applesauce bread with a cream cheese filling that I found on this website. It was good but very spice-y. Very Thanksgiving/Christmas. I'd cut back on the nutmeg next time. This is what it looked like:



We've tried great seafood recipes like ginger-glazed mahi-mahi, and awesome grilled recipes like a southwest turkey breast with avocado salsa. Italian, Mexican, American....you name it. The best part is that we have so many more to try!

Alright, I'm hungry...gotta go.

Photography, dates, and bunnies

I had my first class of the photography workshop last night. She talked a lot about things I already knew, but I did learn a few things and got to ask some questions. Apparently it just keeps building on, so next class should be lots of new stuff for me. She got into photography much in the same way that I have, and is doing what I would ultimately love to do. We'll see where this leads!

Stryker hooked up a baby sitter for us for tonight, so we are having a date night (which I should be getting ready for). He asked this guy to watch her without even talking about a date night with me first. I love that. I love when he makes an effort without having to hear 43 hints first. It really makes me feel loved and special. He did something nice on his own. Love it.

We're going for sushi and then we're switching to Easter bunny mode and going shopping for Fuzz. It will be our first holiday that we've been able to truly shop for her together. Fun stuff!

The Plunge

I have a cousin who has a son with Down Syndrome, so Special Olympics is near and dear to my heart. He has gotten to participate in many different Special Olympics events, and it's been a great thing for him. Stryker shares my love of the organization, and was honored to be able to do something good for the organization by doing the plunge. Besides, who really does the "polar" plunge in Hawaii? Crazy right?

Special Olympics Hawaii ended up raising over $20,000 from the event. It was funny, men and women in t-shirts and shorts hauling wheelbarrows full of ice to dump in the pool they had set up for the plunge.



They had a DJ and Fuzz danced... Here's my commentary, "shakin' it, shakin' it, ooh she's taking my picture!, oh who cares, I can't help it, the beat moves me!, wait, new song, can't find the beat, can't find the beat, oh, there it is!"

And as promised, pictures of the costume.

Goings on

Lots happening in the last couple weeks. Stryker's official redeployment ceremony. It was for the whole brigade so the amount of soldiers there was awesome. It's hard to believe that that many men and women were over there.



We had a battalion picnic where Fuzz learned how to be completely independent on the playground equipment. She now goes up the stairs and down the slide repeatedly until you make her stop. The car ride home was quiet.



Stryker got promoted.



And block leave started. He only took a few days since we are staying here anyway. We are saving some up for PCS leave. It was a nice week having him home though. Should be short days even when he goes back, at least until block leave is over.

We went to the beach today that always has sea turtles sunning. We took Fuzz right up to them, but I think she thought they were rocks.



Life is good over here. We are blessed.

Ugly

Although I have tons of other pictures I could post, I figured maybe words would be nice for a change. There have just been so many photographic moments lately that I haven't been able to resist.

Fuzz acts as if Daddy has always been around. I, however, am not so quick to forget what life was like before redeployment. It's very strange. Pre-Fuzz, reintegration was a snap. Post-Fuzz, not so much. It's frustrating to me.

I am completely grateful and blessed that Stryker is finally back home with us. It's wonderful having him here. The house stays cleaner, I'm not drop dead exhausted by the end of the day, Fuzz has a mommy and a daddy to pay attention to her throughout the day, etc. etc. There are so many benefits to having him home.

I spent 15 months wishing he was here. I longed for his touch, I wished that those "Mwa!"s at the end of every conversation were real, I couldn't wait to feel his skin against mine. So how messed up is it that now that it's finally real, those touches and kisses I so longed for sometimes cause irritation?

I'm not used to being touched and kissed so much throughout the day. When he was gone, I had to adapt to not having those things, and now that they are reality again, I need to adapt back. I guess I'm not quite there yet, but it is getting better daily. We talked about it the other night, and since then I haven't been stressing about it so much, and things have been much better.

I love my husband, and it's hard for me to accept that this is normal, even though I know it is. I know we'll get there, I just wish it didn't take so darned long.

Day Two

On day two, Fuzz turned 18 months old! We spent the morning running errands, and the rest of the day was spent playing. They are still trying to catch up on all that play and tickle time.

Day one

Tuesday, Stryker's first full day back, we went to the park for a picnic. Fuzz chased the birds, we ate lunch, played on the playground, and left when it started raining. It was a great day.

Just a part of the package

Wow, you guys rock! Thanks for all the well wishes on Stryker being home. We've read every single one. I think he finally understands the support you have all given me throughout this deployment.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon in bliss at the spa in the fancy resort up at the north shore. It was, according to Stryker, my Valentine's Day/you never got time to yourself and you deserve it, gift. I have to say, I wasn't feeling all that worthy. I just considered going through this deployment a part of our life together. Not fun, but necessary if I want to continue to be with, and love, Stryker. He and our relationship, is more than worth it.

I told him after I got back my feelings about it. He took my hand, pulled me out of the chair, and started dancing with me right in the living room, as he started rattling off all the reasons why he thought I did in fact deserve it. No wonder why I missed him so much! It's easy to forget all those little romantic things they do everyday when they have been gone for so long.

We are not really having any of those reintegration problems that we did during R&R. I think we must have worked the bugs out at that time, and now it's smooth sailing. Fuzz is getting better with the change every day. I mentioned how hard of a time we were having at bedtime and naptime, and as of yesterday, she's going down without fighting it again. Loving it.

You mean it's real?

Finally, two days after Stryker got home it is beginning to feel like it's real. I felt like after 15 months of separation, the little ceremony (although exciting) just didn't do the whole deployment justice. Where was the parade, the confetti, the champagne spraying all over?

It's only occasional moments that I realize that he's not on borrowed time. I don't have to give him wholly to lady Army in two weeks. It's still hard to wrap my head around.

Fuzz is adjusting, but not as quickly as she did on R&R. Yesterday she fought naptime and bedtime like you wouldn't believe. This is a big adjustment for her. She's not used to sharing me. But it is cute, when Stryker kisses me she trots right over and watches and smiles. Cutest thing.

I am so relieved he's home. I'm incredibly blessed to be so in love.

15 months

He's home...he's finally home.

15 months in which we both grew as individuals. 15 months in which we went through things alone that we wish we never would have, but made us stronger. 15 months of our lives, over.

Not so typical

*UPDATE* It's true, I talked to him this morning!!!

Seeing as how it's Saturday and on the weekends TV is crap and no one blogs much, I am bored and therefore incessantly checking the division website for updates. Updates that I know won't be there because they don't really update until they actually are on their flight back.

So imagine my surprise when I note that both, both "tentative" chalks that Stryker "could, maybe" be on have been bumped up by a day. Yes, you read that correctly. Bumped up, not back.

If that isn't unarmyish, I don't know what is.

What is armyish is that after the initial flutters in my belly of excitement, my brain told me to hold on and not get so excited. See...they don't just train our husbands, they train us too.