Recognizing Daddy

Stryker, like most military dads I would imagine, is so afraid of Fuzz not recognizing him when he comes home. It seems to me that he even goes so far to almost detach himself. Even on Father's Day he was acting like "yeah it's Father's day..I'm not a dad" kind of thing. I'm sure it's a defense mechanism to try and prevent hurt feelings if she doesn't in fact warm up to him immediately. Nonetheless, it makes me sad.

He had a little over 3 months with her before he deployed, and he took to fatherhood so naturally. He loves her to pieces and is so good with her it made me wonder why he got the "paternal instinct" more that I got the "maternal" one.

The first few weeks with Fuzz were tough for me. I think with all the hormonal stuff going on, along with the healing, and learning to nurse, I just didn't feel that connected. I never thought I would be one of those women that I read about. The women who take a while to feel connected and bonded with their babies. I thought she would come out, I'd take one look at her and fell like my insides were just overflowing. That didn't happen for me. I loved her, yes, but I didn't feel like I was in love with her until she was almost 2 months old. I know this doesn't make me a bad mother, but it was a hard situation for me.

Anyway, back to the point... Before Stryker left, I was trying to think of all kinds of things I could do for Fuzz so that she would be familiar with her daddy. I decided I'd make her a doll (which I later found out people sell...I could have been a millionaire!), she has a baby photo album with pictures of her and daddy in it, and we took video of him reading her books.

Now that she's getting a little older, she is starting to remember things for a longer period of time, and it is so cute. Every night as part of her bedtime routine, she watches Stryker read her a book or two, and she gets so excited when she sees me go to turn it on. She gives her daddy doll kisses. And most recently, when she saw Stryker on webcam, the biggest smile came over her face, even before he started making goofy faces at her. This is big, because he doesn't get a chance to come on webcam very often. I think she is recognizing him, and it melts my heart to see how happy it makes him.