Is it Possible?

My Love left about 4 months ago. We have a darling daughter, Fuzz, who is 7 months old. He has now spent more time away from her than he did with her. Wow, I just realized that. I am sad for him. She changes almost daily, pictures, even videos can't possibly be enough for him. This deployment is harder for him than the last. Guilt sets in as, in many ways, it's easier for me. Last time he was gone for this long we weren't married, we didn't have Fuzz. I was in college, working part-time, I had a lot of time to panic that he wouldn't make it back so we could get married. This time Fuzz gives me so much joy, and keeps me so busy that it just isn't as hard this time. Yes, I wish he was here. Yes, I miss him terribly. Yes, I worry about him. Yes, there are days that are harder than last time (like when I had the stomach flu with a 6 month old...). Overall though, I'm more happy. I'm guilty about that, because he's not.


jan wesner


Ah, yes, the conflicted feelings of deployment ... I know them so well. Good luck with your blog - it can become an obsession, in a good way!